The Rare Bitch Project T-Shirt

Yes, there is a power dynamic to be reckoned with in a May-December relationship, but debates about age gaps often assume that the The Rare Bitch Project T-Shirt also I will do this dynamic we speak of is simply one-way: The older person has all the power; the younger person is exploited. In my experience, the older person in the relationship has the power of experience, sure, but the younger person has the power of youth, of access to culture now. When I dated older men, I derived a certain power from their desire for me, and it really turned me on. In turn, I felt taken care of, like I was learning at the hands of someone who had more life experience than me. I used to say, “Old men fuck, cook, and talk better,” and, in many cases, it was true—especially when my dating pool was a group of confused, shame-filled late-teen, early-20s gay men with late-onset emotional adolescence, just like me.While we like to think that relationships and desire are morally pure and separate from something as ugly as power, in many relationships that’s just not the case. And should it always have to be? It’s the same reason ugly rich guys date models, and models date ugly rich guys. It’s the same reason we so often look for what we don’t have in a partner.

The Rare Bitch Project T-Shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt

I am aware that thus far I have only discussed gay relationships, but there’s a reason for that. The fact that queer lifestyles and relationships have become so much more visible in mainstream culture has perhaps skewed our idea of what’s acceptable when it comes to an age gap in relationships. Think of a relationship like Holland Taylor and Sarah Paulson’s. The visibility of these kinds of glamorous queer relationships perhaps scrambles the The Rare Bitch Project T-Shirt also I will do this ways we imagine the power dynamic between couples of older men and younger women that we are more accustomed to seeing. This, however, is to assume that the younger women engaging in these relationships aren’t knowingly exploiting the age-gap dynamic too. And why shouldn’t they? Just because it’s not a perfect story—because culturally we think romance should be fair, just, and morally pure—doesn’t mean this isn’t what happens in reality.