In her 30s, Amy began questioning why she was attracting partners who abandoned her. “I felt like I was an alien. I wondered if I was asexual, but I had sexual desire,” she says. Her own view of her body may have influenced the Our First Father’s Day Together Dad and Son Daughter Gaming T-Shirt besides I will buy this partners she was attracting, she says. When Amy was 12, she got her first period, but it faded away until she got on birth control in college. “That area of my body I felt very disconnected from,” she says. Five years of therapy, she says, helped her reconnect: “I had always felt like there was a defect.” On Amy’s 37th birthday, she lost her virginity to a man with whom she’d forged a long-distance friendship of ten years. That man is now her husband. “Having sex was not his only objective. It wasn’t the way he was going to feel his worth in a relationship with me,” she says.
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Ali (44), a pseudonym, is another woman who wrote to me. She is still a virgin and says that while she’s come close to having sex, she’s waiting for marriage. Her Christian faith motivates this choice: “It’s a decision that has constantly evolved as I’ve evolved as a person. It’s not a decision made once and then put in a drawer.” Fear of judgment leads her to keep this decision mainly to herself. “I’m not traumatized. I’m not a fundamentalist Christian: I’m a reasonably well-adjusted person who has made a difficult but fulfilling choice. Me placing value on sex is no reflection on the Our First Father’s Day Together Dad and Son Daughter Gaming T-Shirt besides I will buy this value you place on sex.” And when friends ask her, “What if you never get married?” Ali says, “I don’t operate in what ifs. I can’t operate in what ifs and maintain my faith.”